WriteFluence

A brand new day, I smiled looking at myself in the mirror,
Sporting my bright yellow dress after a long time I pondered, “I finally look great!”
Suddenly I heard a voice creeping up on me,
Someone I didn’t quite recognise, who was she?

I didn’t know her, but something about her struck me as so familiar.
She brought with her an unpleasant aura, the kind that seem ruthless & terrifying.
“Aw, isn’t it great how much you love your body, finally?”, she scoffed at me. “Don’t applaud it too much, it’s still far from perfect”, her tone was hurtful & shrewd.
The harshness of her words startled me, how could someone be this rude?

“Why are you here, what do you want?”, I screamed with anguish.
“I know you can’t really stand to be alone, and that’s why I’m here”, she chided me.
“A-Alone? Why would that be?”, I enquired, trembling anxiously.
“You’re pretty lonely, don’t you know that? I’m all you’ve got, your best friend & your worst enemy.”

Frantically, I tried to get away from her, yet she managed to get to me no matter where I went.
“You can’t drown your demons, they know how to swim”, she said.
How did she so easily manage to get inside my head, expose every fear I had?
“Don’t you see how flawed you really are?”, she howled.
I was reduced to tears, “But… But I’m not that bad!”

She looked me in the eyes and cackled, “How many times are you going to lie to yourself?”
“But you know I’ve come a long way, I feel beautiful, I-“
“Hush! Don’t you lie to me, you know that there’s loads of better people out there.”
“But.. in my own way, I am good enough. Don’t you agree?”
She gave me a wicked smile, “Why don’t you tell me?”

I was quiet, but her words had managed to pierce my heart.
“You’ve made too many mistakes, and they’re always going to be alive inside you”, she smirked, playing with my weaknesses.
Did she not see, she was hurting me, my mind, my body, my soul? Did she not realize she was driving me insane?
She didn’t seem to care, she went on with her cruel ways, over and over again.

“You’ll never change, you’re always going to be a failure, a coward, nobody’s first choice, worthless, weak, broken!”
“STOPPP”, I yelled in tremor.
My head spun anxiously, constantly replaying what felt like a nightmare, until my mind hit pause.
In that very moment I realized, I knew who the cruel one was.

She’d been around me all this time, how did I never notice?
How did I let her treat me this way, deride me, chide me, drag me down every single time?
She had been by my side, haunting me for years, like I’d never be free.
It baffled me when I finally realized that all along,
I was her, and she was me.

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