An ode to the poet in me

“Hey champ,
its 6 years today that I lost you…
a day so unfateful that I shudder at the sheer through of it…
if I could be with you,
we would have celebrated your bday – 34th??
at the usual “un-restaurant”?
I remember the song “Birthday s*x” playing as ur bday wish to tease u and ur laughs that could make me melt in happiness n not even letting u utter thank u fully??!
That’s the kinda bday we celebrated – alas! the last.

missed calls and blank calls…
and “hey don’t reply here…its my dad’s” was real back then! Like hey “no ones believing we just best friends”…!! Damn you were more than my girlfriends all put together actually!! πŸ™‚ And how much I miss you darling!!

I can’t forget how we made it ever, to
The first and the last movie that we watched together ‘Dasvidania!’ **
who knew the name will live itself up in our lives, true to every bit?
I had faked a world to sneek into u and make it our day. . . !

The damnned 10.00 p.m calls that lasted till
we sang “its 5.00 o clock in the morning”
and laughed ourselves to sleep??!!
how did u let me keep waiting for the phone for 1 more time and just disappear?
you dint let me bid u a last good bye ?
why???
Coz u thought I would get u off heaven’s grab?
and you decided was to go with no bags packed?
You sang american pie, drinking whiskey and rye!
but hey,
Here is your “Delilah” still holding strong
and not wanting to believe that you can ever be gone!

I am here like every year singing you a happy birthday and watching your satan laugh saying “ofcourse ur the 1st one to wish coz u r smart to block your line since 11 just to be sure!”

Your insane 4 a.m calls asking if i was sleeping??
and how you would talk though m sleeping and you know you are at peace coz u have said what u had to say…?
Where do I run to – to just jump out of my sleep and be there to talk to you love??

You called urself 100gods and now you are 1 with those gods, leaving me to face the odds…

I am just thinking how your favourite Lavendar grew onto me and may be I can never see lavender on me ever again…
nothing to loose or gain but just lost in vain!

You were sure to make me run away from my own wedding, if I decided to… hahah
and with your pro tip of “don’t wear your heels, i cant even lift you and run”… lol
i wish thats all that i had to miss at the wedding and not U!

You taught me dance, like noone was watching
you taught me seee the world with my naked eyes!
thanks….

But also, what happens to the promises u made to coach my champ football??! Now wer do i go? n how i miss Tlthe way we fought night after night with just another excuse but every call that ended was with a “muuuaahhh… luv u BETA”!! damn no one ever calls me that now… ! n how much it meant to me… and ur angry “Jayuuu”…very close to my heart for so many reasons!

I have never met and will never meet another soul like u “baba”… Ur my strength and the reason i keep my head straight and face all the odds with all that u taught me… thanks for being my gueardian angel forever…i miss u so much and luv u more than u will ever know….”

P.S: Saurabh Padte (06.05.1987 – 12.08.2014) has been my dearest friend and a beautiful soul whom i met and indeed changed my life for good… made me see the real world to what it actually is and then one day left without a goodbye (of a heartattack), without a closure!

Poems to me happened in a desparate attempt seeking closure and as “soul” communication tool available…

The pain, the happiness, the strength all of the shades in my poem is largely tinted by this shadow!


For when I write today and the world appreciates, its time to say ‘thank you’ to this soul who still continues to bless me and be my me for me to do my best!

Acceptance is the key, Death is the biggest loss we can take but knowing we can’t see them but we can still believe in them and they continue to guide us like Guardian angels is all I want to convey…


**Dasvidania : Goodbye (Untill we meet next) Language: Russian

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