Count To Ten

“Count backwards from ten, everytime you can’t sleep because I’m not next to you”.

I smile dryly on hearing your cracked voice from 6000 miles away. It’s my first night in 3 years without you by my side, & between coming to terms with you having to move away for work & me struggling with my own job here, my mind is too numb to express anything right now.

“Are you counting? Are you even listening?”, you ask.
I mumble a “hmm”, too exhausted to fight you on how nothing you could say would help me feel better about the fact that you’re not going to be beside me for a long time.

“Ten, for the number of months in which I’ll be right by your side again.

Nine, for the number of letters we’ll write to each other during this time apart.

Eight, for the number of pictures of you I’ve taped to these walls, to remind myself just how lucky I am to have you.

Seven, for the number of lifetimes that we’re going to be together, because there’s no way you’re getting rid of me.

Six, for the number of special hand-made delicacies that you packed for me, to make me plump enough so that no other woman lays her eyes on me.

Five, for the number of re-runs of Schitt’s Creek we’re going to watch together, so that I know you laughed atleast a little bit every day.

Four, for the number of years that I’ve known and loved every bit and part of you.

Three, for the number of words that I wish I was close enough to whisper into your ears right now.

Two, for the number of times you’re allowed to cry in my absence- tonight, because I’m doing it too, & the day I return, because smiles won’t be enough to contain our joy.

One, for the only person that’s constantly on my mind, whose name always leaves a smile on my lips & whose memories manage to keep my heart warm until I see her again.”

I blush incessantly, at the beauty of the love you foster for me, & then bawl like a baby because of your absence follow, like you predicted. And just like that, every night, even though we’re far apart, we fall asleep together, & wake up each day, falling a little more in love.

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