Debris

This is a really long poem
and I wrote it over a skipped dinner tonight.
I read your scribbled words yet again
Peeping through the secret tunnel
that we’ve created for our communication…

There was a time when I had cried for days
When I had thought this might end some day
You said you had moved away, for good
And said it was for the best of both of us…
How could so much pain have been for our best?

I tried all along, the last two decades
To erase every pinch of you from my life
I succeeded too. I see you not anymore.
I know not how you even look nowadays.
Yet you’ve stayed here. Within me.
Like salt that dissolves in water, yet stays…

Yet there’s no taste in my life anymore
And I can feel you’re ageing distastefully too.
Would this have been any different though?
I ponder and sometimes regret letting you go.
What if I’d have lingered a li’l longer
and waited for you to realize and feel how I felt?

You tried your best to get yourself out of my world
You created distances, emotional and physical
You said it would work, the clichéd
Out of sight, out of mind.
You said we would be able to move on one day.

You lied!
Sometimes I wonder now,
Would even death be able to do us apart?

Seedlings of the words
that you’ve planted in my heart
refuse to wilt or wither
You bloom like the morning flower
fragrant throughout my day
and beguile the cicadas at night
to keep me awake and yet dream about you
Every leaf of yours absorbs sunlight

Leaving me no shade to rest under…
You snatch the ground too
from under my feet
Your roots run through my veins and you grow
In every part of me…
I’ve become one with you and it stays
Through the sun or the rain.
Your branches sway along with my winds
And I make sure your twigs as well stay mine…

Remnants of you
Reflect in each broken part of my heart.
My words break out
like an epidemic of depression
My dreams drain my day of all light
I walk around with drooping shoulders
weighed down with your loss

Yet I get not a look back from you…
even when you pass by
watching this debris of me
and I crumble further each day
Nothing stays as the winds
keep blowing the sands away

Mirages too keep shifting
And so does my heart…
I cry within
yet no tear dampens my arid heart
I keep my pain and let it ache
I want to vanish sometimes
But stay on and watch along
How life keeps throwing me off the cliff…
whenever calm wishes to stay

Yet I get not a look back from you,
Even when you pass by
watching this debris of me
crumbling further every day…


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