WHAT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT

(i) The ambulance sirens that frequent the dispensary at the corner of my gulley. Prayers for people tonight who close their eyes to the world for the final time, & those who open theirs for the first.

(ii) The five year old moon lamp on my nightstand that flickers every 20 seconds & disturbs my sister while she curses me for not throwing out the old gift yet another day.

(iii) The fluttering pages of my years-old unfinished novels that glare at me with hope every morning, even though every night I get into bed, disappointing them a little more.

(iv) Floating images in my head of my favourite cheese burst pizza, followed by my mother’s pleading face, asking me to not cheat on my diet so that I can reduce at least one of the ongoing troubles in her life.

(v) Finding a new hiding place for the diary where along with my poetry, I managed to hide my dreams too, right after making a mental note of my pending tasks at my dull job.

(vi) New, yet useless ideas about what more I should’ve yelled at my old, cheating ex right before I kicked him out of the house.

(vii) Tiptoeing to the kitchen to fetch water amidst eerie silence, & wondering how I’d combat a ghost without my spectacles in the dark.

(viii) Beats of the rock songs you love, the annoying lyrics of which refuse to leave my mind, as I try to drown them out by humming Kabira on loop.

(ix) A guilt trip about how I lied to my family 3 times in 2 weeks to go out on dates with men of my choice for a change, & an unwavering fear of being spotted by nosy relatives when I least expect it.

(x) A raging fear of my bestfriend moving to another city forever. Or worse, getting sick of me & making a new bestfriend.

(xi) Dreams about getting kidnapped & nobody being able to save me. Dreams about being cheated on again & abandoned, or worse; being the one who cheats this time.

(xii) Your sweatshirt that fails to keep my cold heart warm anymore, & that unsent text that I try to bring myself to send you every night, asking you to come & take your hoodie back, & with it, all the love for you that I still hold in my heart.

Disclaimer: Any opinion expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not reflect the views of WriteFluence.in. Any omissions or errors are the author’s and WriteFluence does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.

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Categories: Reading Nook

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