It’s a bachelor’s house, you know how it is…

By Sneha Acharekar on June 25, 2021

Bachelor’s house is such a convenient term.

The essence of it in itself preaches that the responsibility of keeping a house tidy lies on the shoulders of the woman of the house.

I wouldn’t want to believe that’s how all men are. No, men today, do help. But why is taking care of your own house considered as ‘help’ offered to the lady of the house?

Why did our mothers and aunties raise their sons with this notion? Did they never feel that their daughters shouldn’t go through the shit they survived all their life?

Voila! There we go again blaming women for this one too.

A few years ago, I was acquainted with one such bachelor. Nope, not my boyfriend or husband or lover. He was only an acquaintance. The guy was a perfect example of how a human being shouldn’t be. Let’s call him S. (If that sounded like ass in your head, that’s fine too.)

Roving eyes in sockets that you would like to poke forks into, socks that would stink as soon as he entered the house, a complete chauvinist with no hints of chivalry as well (yeah why not? I like chivalry, chavinists are the problem).

Where from and when did these weird terms that we use for men, originate? Dogs. Chauvinist pigs. Why do all the foul words for men have to be either hurling towards animals or aiming at their mothers and sisters!?

So… S’s bachelor’s house was the one that the art-director of Delhi Belly took inspiration from to create the one we all saw in the movie.

Coffee mugs would lie on the table, hours after the coffee was finished leaving stains behind on not just the mugs but also the surface where the mug had been placed for days when the maid would be on vacation. Greasy plates and vessels would be heaped up haphazardly in the sink without being cleaned of the remnants of food from them and would stay there being kissed occasionally by cockroaches and sometimes even by a regularly visiting rat. Milk vessels would look depressed due to being refilled with milk and heated multiple times, sometimes their unwashed status extending till about a month.

Yes, if you thought what they showed in the movies was an exaggeration of reality… here I am, telling you that it is not an exaggeration and I’ve witnessed the gross reality. There are places in our city where houses don’t get water for all 24hours. I do not have any doubts when I say that S may also have used orange juice at some time.

When his parents from another city visited the laadla beta, they wanted to get S married so that a wife would be able to take care of the house for their beloved son. This, when the family is also well aware of S having contracted an STD in the recent past. But getting a house-wife for their son who they proudly gave birth to for being their buddhape ki laathi and who can’t seem to manage keeping things in his house tidy, is more important than caring about someone else’s daughter being at a confirmed risk of contracting the STD.

Okay I’m swaying from the topic for a bit now but just so you know… there are numerous variants of STDs that one needs to be worried about. HIV AIDS is not just the only STD. So the next time you know someone’s getting married, make sure they go through medical tests shamelessly, because that’s where the so-called modern generation is heading towards. Beware! Humans can be nasty.
Especially make sure the tests are done if the men have lived in bachelor houses before. Trust them to have used their potential-STD virus-carrying-roomate’s razors while being absolutely ignorant to the risks.

I was watching one of the episodes of a very popular Marathi series the other day. Let me name it for you. Chala Hawa Yeu dya.
It’s a good series. Humour and all. The host is a brilliant writer and I love most jokes that he builds on the show. Yet, the other day he disappointed me by saying something that said…
“Now we’re going to discuss some hobbies that are a favourite amongst women. Cooking and recipes.”

Who decided this generalized assumption?

I hate cooking. I’m sure there are many women out there who feel the same way. Cooking is nowhere on the list of my HOBBIES.

It’s a basic daily drill that we are EXPECTED to fulfill, because we unfortunately are the Maas even as we mutter China ke Maa ki aankh multiple times during those sweaty hours in the kitchen while cooking and cleaning in absence of maids. I cannot imagine the state of mind of the women living in joint families now making meals and beverages several times during the day to entertain the office habits of the men who are now working from home; and the plight of those women having more mouths to feed than before because as we learnt in school years ago – Sex is still the cheapest form of entertainment for the poor.

Coming back to our bachelor’s house, have you noticed that when men live alone they’re much more organized than when they stay with roommates? Does that mean that when they stay with someone, it’s just intrinsic with them to depend on the other person to keep things tidy? So does that mean the term isn’t a bachelor’s house but a bachelors’ house?

Oh no… Can’t say that about people like S. When my friend, who was his roommate moved out of the bachelors’ house; things turned even wilder.

Isn’t it time we stop prejudicing our future generations about features of a bachelor’s house? I mean how many more years will women be taken for granted to be responsible for every domestic work and living through the instilled guilt of not contributing enough to household chores and depending instead, on swiggy or urban clap services for those things!

P.S. Yes, I’m guilty of ordering from Swiggy now and then and am also one of those who will do a propaganda about how much my husband “helps” but do not relate this post to my personal life. Irrelevant.

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