The other day I was watching Sex/Life on Netflix. Just to take my mind off work. Something my friends would call semi porn, and others “non-veg” serial. As I got deeper into the series I realized that it wasn’t just about sex. It was rather more about how relationships get monotonous over time and need a bit of spark, intimacy spicing things up. I know I’m no expert but I’m trying to share my thoughts.
Billi, the female protagonist, is happily married to a man named Cooper, who is the epitome of a perfect husband. She has two beautiful kids. She has everything that a woman would want in family life or a preconceived notion of a perfect family by society for a woman. Billi on the other hand craves for more. As she just delivered a baby girl. She misses the intimacy, the thrill, the physical love making as her husband is too busy building his career and securing his family life. Billi is left alone most of the time tending to the needs of her children and getting frustrated. So she ends up fantasizing about Brad, a record company owner.
Now many people would judge Billi at this point, I won’t lie I did too. The more I tried to make sense of her the more I started understanding her. It made sense every human irrespective of it’s gender craves for more or wants more. As Billi herself puts it, she has the 85% of the life that any woman would die for. But she wants the remaining 15% too. In short she wants it all. Yes ,running after that 15% might make her lose the 85% she has built with her husband. Is wanting it all wrong because she is a woman?
From where I see Billi I feel she just wanted to break from the regular life and wanted to feel that thrill, the excitement, the adventure again. The feeling she felt when she was with Brad. She is happy in her married life with Cooper. He is the perfect better half. Life has security, stability. Yet she wants more of it. The specific more which is denied to most women. Because as the saying goes “Jo hai Jaisa hai Khush raho” be happy in what you have. Or the same old saying “try to adjust a little”. Is it too much to ask for a little bit of adventure?
Is it necessary for a woman to completely domesticate herself once she is married. Billi is a good wife and a good mother and her fantasies did take the better of her. I somehow felt the same for the woman in me. I had an exceptionally wonderful relationship for many years before we parted ways. And I did try to move on but it was never the same. No matter who I was with I didn’t have the same top of the world experience with anyone. Is it a confession? Yes. It is. Do I feel guilty about it? I guess sometimes. Do I regret it? Not at all. The laughs, the talks, the drives, the possessiveness, the passion, the charm, the love making everyday seemed like a new chapter. It is definitely difficult to get over someone you had a lot of history with. Although I’m not married I could totally relate to the 15% Billi was talking about. While watching the series for some reason I could only think of the lines from Meet Joe Black said by Anthony Hopkins.
“I want you to get swept away out there. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish. Be deliriously , happy or at least leave yourself open to be…. I know it’s a cornball thing. But love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. I say fall head over heels. Find someone you love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well you forget your head and listen to your heart. Because the truth is honey there is no sense in living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well you haven’t lived a life a at all. But you have to be open. Who knows? Lightening could strike”
Most of the choices mentioned in the above dialogue are denied specially to a woman and if she does want it or tries to get it society just labels her.
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