I was recently scrolling through my instagram, where l read “kareena kapoor khan and amrita arora age- shamed”. When I went deep into it, I realized they had shared a Christmas celebration photo all decked up in their usual fashionable self. Now one might ask where the question of age shame arises?. Well while skipping through the comments I made an observation where people were actually calling them “buddhi” as in old “do bacho ki maa hoke ladki jaise kapde pehenti hai” being a mother yet dressing up like a girl. And many other derogatory comments. Trust me it was not just the men but women/ girls too.
Seema Anand an account I follow for her versatile story telling. The fact that she deciphers Kamasutra and the art of pleasure makes it quite interesting. Someone who puts forth a lot of taboo subjects across in the most subtle way possible. But instead of taking the good from it people just end up calling her names for her salt and pepper look… or to simply put it gray hair. A lot of insensitive words were thrown her way which I can’t even write down.
Another incident that comes to mind is Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas wedding. A meme was shared where Priyanka was crowned as miss India/world and a picture of a baby sucking on a nipple with Nick Jonas name was shared.
Now these are just a few examples which we can find on the internet. As we read them our mind tends to forget that in all these stories women are age shamed. It’s not just the successful women who appear on the cover pages of glossy magazines,but women in general are expected to do things which are age appropriate according to what society thinks is appropriate.
Coming to real life situations a story comes to mind where one woman in our locality was widowed at an early age. She had a son about my age. I remember she made it her point to provide the best of the best for her son. She sent him to the best school, college, he ended up getting a great job and even married his college sweetheart. One day the mother broke the news that she was getting married again. The news came as a shock for everyone. All hell broke loose. Everyone from her son to relatives, even the building watchman judged her. Why? Because according to them she was old and not age appropriate to marry again.
So what is the exact age to do anything? and who decides it.? And why are only women subjected to such humiliation? I don’t see any male actors getting age shamed, even when they work with women half their age,they are still called macho. Why such a drastic distinction merely based on gender.?
Why do men get away with sexist jokes whereas women have to think about the whole world just to decide for herself?
The shocking part is all the above examples are from the 21st century and not an era gone by. It is extremely surprising that we can go to any extent of shaming and silencing women when they try to question or break the stereotypes ingrained in our mind for centuries by patriarchy.
It’s high time that we take responsibility for our actions. It’s important to undo what is done. Just remember “Just because it’s supposed to be, that does not mean it should be ”.
Stop age shaming women. As we say “age is just a number”. Lets make these normal for women married in their 40’s great. Single in their 30’s still fine. Mother of at 20’s still a long way to go. Life choices should not be determined by the number of gray hairs. Women of today are living their lives at their own terms and they should be respected and encouraged for it rather than being looked down upon and humiliated, while hiding behind a fake handle.
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A very relatable article Vini! Thanks for sharing