I was attending a seminar during my B.Ed days. When a respected chief guest narrated a story he said
” A woman had three children. An elder daughter,a son and a newborn.The elder daughter and son were just a year apart in age from each other. The newborn on the other hand was a few months old. Now one day when the woman was busy in the kitchen,like every other Indian woman,who is expected to look after the house ,the needs of everyone in the family, as well as look after her children. All in all expected to have in-built superpowers. And do all the work in a jiffy. Now that her newborn soiled his diapers. Her instant response was to tell her elder daughter to clean after him. As she was busy.” Then the chief guest stopped and looked at us and asked “why didn’t she ask her son?” …. Well as expected everyone replied ” He is a boy how he can clean a diaper or he wouldn’t be able to do it etc,etc etc”
The chief guest smiled at us and “Home is where gender discrimination begins, because we always expect the women to it and assume men are not meant for it.”
That’s when it struck me how many times I have seen the simplest of things are done by women but the same is considered inferior for men.
I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men; they are far superior and always have been.William Golding
Recently one of my married friend was down with Covid. She was home quarantined. Her family had to order food from outside the entire time till she recovered. This was a time when people were working from the comfort of their homes. And the man of the house as expected can’t cook a meal. So he settled for a tiffin service.I haven’t seen this woman rest ever. I have seen her dive into the kitchen as soon as she comes back home from work, in the same clothes because food has to be ready before her husband arrives. She picks and drops her children to school,coaching classes,etc. In Spite of having a full time job. The height is when the laundry guy returns the clothes after ironing and she again has to re-iron them because her husband does not prefer the crease caused due to the fold. By the way which he can perfectly do without the wife’s help but he is too tired to do it after dinner. So she ends up doing it for him.
Aren’t cooking, cleaning, washing ,ironing etc. basic skills and not gender based. Then why are these chores just piled on to a woman and not a man.?
A woman after being a mother looks after her children her entire life irrespective of whether she is a homemaker or has a job outside home. While the man has very less responsibility besides giving his name. The reason I mentioned outside home is because being a homemaker according to me is a full time/lifetime job with no pay,no gratitude,no validation,no retirement…until and unless you are dead.
Remember that picture which was being circulated during the pandemic in 2020 where a woman on an oxygen cylinder was making rotis and her son had captioned “A mother is never off duty” something like that. First of all I would like to meet that son and give him a tight slap for being such a jerk and secondly I would also give a piece of mind to the parents for raising such an insensitive man/boy.
On the other hand, if the man is by chance helpful or turns out to be equally responsible for sharing the household responsibilities he is being praised for no apparent reason. Isn’t it your job too in the first place.?Isn’t it your shared responsibility? Why are men made to feel special for something which women have been doing for centuries without any consideration.?
Even at the dinner table you will hardly find the women of the house seated because the men want hot and freshly prepared food on their plates. So women slog it in the kitchen.
Even in their own house girls are asked to help their mothers with cooking and cleaning so as to prepare them to serve their husbands and their families in the near future. But boys aren’t even trained to pick up their own dirty dish and place it in the sink.or for that matter take a towel to shower and hang the wet towel on the rope. Maybe just place your shoes and shocks together on the rack.These are basic things a man should/must know and it all starts at home. It’s not just the parents with the fathers being the part of the teaching process equally but we also as a society should learn the fact these are basic survival skills required irrespective of gender. A gender should not be the degree to decide you responsibility around the house.In this new era let’s try to make teaching our sons and daughters equally. And let’s start it at home.
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