At first, you were just a secret. An unintentional secret. Simply a name in my phone and not yet a person to me. I’d let my mind wander about meeting you. When, if, where. Who you’d become to me? And if anyone at all. I told no one of your existence because I was so afraid that this would be another pattern of me falling for something that wasn’t even destined to be real.
But I told the stars about you. And yes, they shone brighter after it.
We’d often have conversations about how we had been talking and how wonderful things were going. About how I was looking forward so much to meeting you. And how with them I told my wishes, my wishes that finally led to me being with you. But they also saw more than what I could see.
I told the stars how worried I was that I wouldn’t be enough for you. Or that you wouldn’t want me. But they reassured me and told me how neither of us were in places in our lives where we were confident that this could truly work out for what both of us wanted it to be.
Did you talk to them too?
Yes, there’s no truth to this idea of perfection because I fell in love with what made you so very different. I fell for those uneven smiles and unfiltered laughs. I fell for the stories that you stirred up late at night in my dreams. And, most of all, I fell for a heart that knew how to treat me right.
I told the stars about all this and they said that I should tell you if that’s truly how I feel. But the thing is, I told them, that I don’t know if you feel the same way. And I’m so worried that I will jeopardize what we have now if I tell you how I truly feel. Because me loving you, doesn’t mean that anything needs to change.
But I told the stars, ‘Oh how!! I wish it did…’
– Shivangi Kharbanda
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