WriteFluence

One fine July morning in 2020, a sudden “whiz” in my right ear blocked it and all I could hear was a “beep”. Innocent me thought it was a temporary syndrome, it was going to be fine. The doctor prescribed high doses of steroids but couldn’t guarantee a complete cure. A partial cure would be a matter of great luck, according to him.

A girl of twenty faced a grave moment, a moment of breakdown, what you might call a watershed moment. What did I ever do to deserve this? How could I get up and go ahead? Difficult questions to answer.

But I hoped. I believed in the miracles of modern medicine and hoped my dear ear would be restored as good as new. But, not every prayer is answered. I had to accept that I would never enjoy music with both ears, I’d always have to be extra careful when outdoors because of my weak right ear. I had to take it in my stride and move on.

I realised the essence of ‘carpe diem’. Earlier I didn’t have the faintest clue as to how exciting and sublime music felt in headphones until my right ear had stopped responding forever. I used to check my favourite playlists and cry. I recall adding a nice set of headphones in my shopping cart but never ordering it.

However, this isn’t the only truth I realised at this point but the epiphany that followed. It’s a blessing my parents never left my side while I coped with my loss, but it would’ve been easier had those friends I considered closest, been there for me.

If we weren’t quarantined and they learned about my syndrome, they would’ve enquired about it whenever we met, at college, at the café, at movies. As fate would have it, not a soul bothered to call or text, asking me how I was holding up, how I was feeling, if I was getting better. I was left with my thoughts, immense depression, and my loving family.

Silver lining – nothing goes to waste. We learn from even the smallest experience. This one strengthened me as a person, lifting the pall of sweet nothings and offering me a better picture of reality. This epiphany revealed to me that battles of life have to be fought alone.

Comrades may leave the warzone,
But one has to go on, all alone.

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